Friday 24 September 2010

A totally unbiased review of Halo: Reach

So, Halo Reach came out last tuesday.
I was at work on tuesday, and wednesday and thursday.
Yet I was still able to finish it by friday.
I think thats a fair indication of just how desperate I was to play this game. I wasn't overly interested in the multiplayer experience or the new features. The main thing for me was the story and campaign experience. So overall this is a review of the story and single player experience.
Before I go on I will just say that this is going to be fucking full of SPOILERS, so don't say I didn't warn you.
And when I say spoilers, I mean I'm going to rip the entire story wide open..

Halo Reach as I'm sure you know, puts you in the shoes of noble 6, a product of the Spartan 3 program, and a typically silent hero. Noble 6 as a character is intentionally uninteresting, apart from constant references to his prior black ink ops. The reason for this is it pushes him away from the story emphasis, despite him being the players interaction mechanic. The overall storytelling is done via the other 5 members of Noble, Carter, Cat, Jun, Emile and Jorge. All apart from Jorge are also Spartan 3's, whereas the massive Jorge is a Spartan 2 and veteran of over 30 years. on a side note, the few times you see Jorge's face, the scars and marks are clearly reminiscent of past battles, and are a nice detail. Anyways, as I said, the main body of the story is covered by the other 5 members of Noble, and they are clearly cast into roles of a somewhat dysfunctional family.

The entire family dynamic does work as you see them bicker and there is tension amongst them. One thing I noticed was a mild animosity between Jorge and Emile, which I took to be due to the difference in origin. Other than that, the only friction I noticed was between Carter and Cat, which turns out to be over the loss of the previous Noble 6, Thom. But anyway, the family dynamic of Noble brings a feeling to the game of a much more human storyline, similar to Halo ODST. The story, by feeling more human, makes it easier for the player to connect to the game, unlike in the original Halo games. Throughout the halo series, the only major character you can actually connect to is Cortana, and that is for two reasons. 1 she talks a hell of a lot, and 2 shes a naked hologram babe. Other than that there are no major characters to love and adore. Yes we all think Sargent Johnson kicks some serious ass, but he was just funny in a slightly cheesy way. That said, I did really like the way the relationship between the Chief and Cortana is strained in Halo 3, it really does emphasise the importance of their, shall we say relationship. And in Halo 2, when the Master Chief has to leave Cortana behind, it is one of the most upsetting parts in a game of all time.
"Don't make a girl a promise, if you know you can't keep it".
http://youtu.be/ZjGJtxLTwY0
Anyway, I'm getting distracted, back to reach. each of the characters is initially hostile to 6, since he is an outcast, but as the game goes on, all of them share something with him, be it a memory or an opinion. Sadly this is all a part of the apocalyptic, sombre tone that goes through the entire game. At one point Cat simply says "your first glassing? mine to", the impact of it being something horrific and morose being shared. Everything is in context to the backdrop of this inevitable fate, and all the characters are simply doing the best they can.

The pretence of the story is this small group of Spartan doing what they can to slow the covenant down. They know what they do may make no difference yet they still do. Inevitably almost all of them die, but each of them leaves in such a way that it makes you remember their actions and all that they accomplished.

In the end your actions are critical, and Noble 6's final actions define him in the same way as the rest of Noble, willing to do what is necessary for what is best. the actual ending, though solemn, bittersweet and actually upsetting, is one of my favourites, the direction is brilliant and it really satisfied and left with overall optimism with where the player can go from there, to remember the actions of team Noble.

Now this wouldn't be a true halo game if it didn't have an amazing orchestral soundtrack, and Martin O'Donnell doesn't dissapoint. If anything, it is currently arguing in my head whether I prefer this of ODST's soundtrack. It really is a tough one to make, since they are both brilliant in their own way. ODST does a brilliant job of creating isolation and loss of purpose simply from the music. Reach makes you remember all that you have been through over the last 10 years. There are little exerts from previous Halo games as well as new pieces which are stunning. Since Halo 3, there has been a real maturity in O'Donnell's compositions, with really complex rhythms and subtle nuances throughout, and he is one reason I will but anything bungie makes, if he is the sound director.

The soundtrack is different from ODST though, as I said, since it cannot exist on its own. ODST had so many pieces of music that could have existed in so many other mediums. The soundtrack here is brilliant, but only as a compliment to the game. At any point when you are listening to it, all you will be feeling is the game, but then that is what they set out to do I feel.

Bungie clearly set out to make gamers remember all that they had been through over the last ten years with Halo Reach. The game serves as a homage to the studio, the universe, and all the characters that it has created. Towards the end of the game, I was nearly moved to tears as a realisation of what this game signifies came over me. This was Bungie's swan song, their final chapter, in the same way that Halo 3 closed off Master Chief, this closes off their input into the franchise. From here, judging by what has emerged already, all we can expect to see is a divulging of the franchise, with non-canon stories, more action figures, and cheesy psuedo rts games with a halo badge on them.
It worries me, since Halo is something I grew up with and  cherish my memories of that. Halo was and still is one of few games outside of the RPG genre, that tries to involve the player, make the player have some kind of emotional weight into the game, to amaze the player with a sense of scale, a sense of powerlessness, a sense of immense forboding, an inclination of the part that you have to play in the grand scheme. I can only hope that whoever takes over the franchise now, treats it with as much love as we hold it in.

Friday 17 September 2010

The Bullshit that is Facebook

Straight off im going to point out the irony that im gonna post this to my facebook, so yes, I am a self hating fucktard.
but really, dont you just hate 90% of all the crap that goes on on that place?
I mean really , it is so fucking retarded, its about as inspired as fishing for bananas whilst hanging off a cliff covered in honey in bear county.
ie its stupid.
so what i thought I'd do is break it down as to why facebook is fast becoming one of the most wasted places on the internet, and also why you (and I) cant get enough of that shit.

PROBLEM 1.
"likes",
so and so likes this,
so and so likes dry humping monkeys
so and so likes failing exams
so and so likes driving up and down green street in my rental car, leaning out the window cos it looks gangsta, yes gangsta with a a, i say it cos i is one, yes me the typical south asian demographic, wondering why the fuck i cant get a job and have to 'hustle' to make a living, whilst i live with my parents until they find someone messed up enough to marry me off to, at which point i'll probably gel my hair to my scalp at my weddign cos it looks gangsta

likes, or being a fan of as it once was, is annoying. Its annoying not because it people dont care. its not annoying because it fills up my news feed.
its annoying because these are the things you would never bother fucking talking about yet you feel the need to search for it so you can find other dull minded fuckheads who might sympathise with your thoughts. you need to be socially accepted as one of the real people, so for thqt you have to like everything and everyone cos just about everyone is doing it and you need to show your approval.
and for the record, i dont fucking care if you like dry humping monkeys. just dont wave it in my face.

relationship statuses.
this pisses me off a lot. your probably thinking im gonna hate on couples or something.
but no
thats not what pisses me off.
people who say that
"its complicated"
no its not
its not fricking complicated
its very
very
simple
you are flipping ugly
you smell a bit
you look like the elephant man
you may have aids
NO ONE WANTS YOU
YET YOU STILL NEED TO SOMEHOW ATTEMPT TO FOOL SOME SIMPLE MINDED HALFBREED INTO THINKING THAT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS INTERESTED IN YOU.
if it was complicated why dont you do us all a favour, and keep it to your fucking self

Im sleepy now, there'll be more in the morning

Wednesday 15 September 2010

call me stupid

Blogging.
where did that word come from? I mean its hardly derived from something or a by product of something else is it?
Anyways down to business. this is my first blog in about 3 years so I'm not sure if I'm doing this right any more. I mean back in the days it used to be about opinion but right now i guess i should probably refer to farmville or something? or maybe i should be out shankling someone or something, as a functioning member of society.
or, maybe i should be studying.
whatever. i think im going to go by what i know
So,
right now, im sitting on my bed. and im not happy.
right now im not happy because a question has re emerged from the fragments of my memories. this question i first asked several years ago, only to forget it in a drug addled rage. it is such a question that scientists from all the worlds leading institutes have ignored it. that is,
"Why is there a Drum solo in Englishman in New York by Sting"
for those who dont know, I'm putting a link, for this rather excellent song, drum solo aside.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMXCPANHeYM&ob=av3n
let me spell this song out, cos it is an awesome song. Though not exactly Stings usual style, its a bit jazzy with a nice clarinet riff going through it. It has a characteristic plucking of a harp constantly, and a piano layered over that. The second chorus leads into a little clarinet solo, and there it is. A fricking ten second long drum solo.
Why?
WHY?
Why is it there?
I mean why? you could've put a reference to movies featuring Humphrey Bogart and that would make more sense.
You could have had the song just go on the way it does after that bit, in that it practically ends.
It just doesn't belong.
Now you may be thinking that I'm making an awful big fuss about this, but i think I know why sting has done this. and he does it in a lot of his songs. he just does stupid pointless things. Like in desert Rose, he does that weird sound.
you're probably wondering what the reason is.
He's being blackmailed by the man.
Now I know that sounds outrageous but there is a reason for it being true. Sting and The police have made some of the greatest songs of all time. they just have to be mentioned and a tour gets sold out. for one band to have so much power isnt good for the industry. so they sabotage the songs with crappy post-production parts.
Bastard record companies.
the industry is fuelled so much by conflict.

we can all say how much we hate Justin bieber, but the fact is that we are still talking about, him, tweeting about his, going on youtube to declare our utter hatred to the little fuck. and because of this the record companies have won cos the little penisface is stuck in our heads, and is rotting what is left of our minds, into the mush that is mass media vision.
A little fact about Englishman in New York. it was originally launched without the drums. got no publicity and practically failed to chart.
remixed and had drums added. stings face everywhere. got to number 5.
version without drums would = win.
basically mass media = fags

what I would say though is that Sting and The Police are conceptual and metaphysically awesome, and always will be.

Oh yeah, about me, i guess this is obligatory. im 22, like cars and cheesecake but not together cos that gets sticky, and hate yyour mother.
i work so i can afford to live, and i live to procrastinate, play games and generally be me.
thats all for now.
peace out
Word to your mother