The Bullshit that is Facebook

Straight off im going to point out the irony that im gonna post this to my facebook, so yes, I am a self hating fucktard.
but really, dont you just hate 90% of all the crap that goes on on that place?
I mean really , it is so fucking retarded, its about as inspired as fishing for bananas whilst hanging off a cliff covered in honey in bear county.
ie its stupid.
so what i thought I'd do is break it down as to why facebook is fast becoming one of the most wasted places on the internet, and also why you (and I) cant get enough of that shit.

PROBLEM 1.
"likes",
so and so likes this,
so and so likes dry humping monkeys
so and so likes failing exams
so and so likes driving up and down green street in my rental car, leaning out the window cos it looks gangsta, yes gangsta with a a, i say it cos i is one, yes me the typical south asian demographic, wondering why the fuck i cant get a job and have to 'hustle' to make a living, whilst i live with my parents until they find someone messed up enough to marry me off to, at which point i'll probably gel my hair to my scalp at my weddign cos it looks gangsta

likes, or being a fan of as it once was, is annoying. Its annoying not because it people dont care. its not annoying because it fills up my news feed.
its annoying because these are the things you would never bother fucking talking about yet you feel the need to search for it so you can find other dull minded fuckheads who might sympathise with your thoughts. you need to be socially accepted as one of the real people, so for thqt you have to like everything and everyone cos just about everyone is doing it and you need to show your approval.
and for the record, i dont fucking care if you like dry humping monkeys. just dont wave it in my face.

relationship statuses.
this pisses me off a lot. your probably thinking im gonna hate on couples or something.
but no
thats not what pisses me off.
people who say that
"its complicated"
no its not
its not fricking complicated
its very
very
simple
you are flipping ugly
you smell a bit
you look like the elephant man
you may have aids
NO ONE WANTS YOU
YET YOU STILL NEED TO SOMEHOW ATTEMPT TO FOOL SOME SIMPLE MINDED HALFBREED INTO THINKING THAT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS INTERESTED IN YOU.
if it was complicated why dont you do us all a favour, and keep it to your fucking self

Im sleepy now, there'll be more in the morning